Have you ever felt stuck in your mind? Does it overthink business, relationships, or goals?
C'mon now, You don't have to throw shade. I know you have. I know because I have, too. Let's embrace for a moment in our shared humanity.
The difference between success and failure is understanding that “stuck” is not a permanent place. Rather, it’s more of a time to pause —a pause where you can either give in to fear(because fear can scream at you) and turn back or push through using that fear to fuel your PURPOSE.
Just imagine you're a best-selling author and you're having a bout of writer's block. Your mindset would be one that would think, “I love writer’s block because I know that once I break through [it], a Times bestseller is right on the other side.”
But how can we create that mindset?
Attaining this perseverance may be simple, but not easy.
I’ll let the story of Mari chatting with a trusted friend/coach show you.
Mari is very frustrated:
Kathy: What’s an area of your life where you’re feeling stuck?
Mari: My business isn’t moving forward. I’ve been working on it full-time for the last 15 months and I’m barely bringing in enough. I’m afraid I'll have to shut it down and go back to a 9-to-5.
Kathy: How do you think this happened?
Mari: I'm not sure. Maybe I haven’t been giving it the energy it really needs to get it off the ground. Maybe I’ve been focusing on the easy things rather than the things I know would produce the biggest results.
Kathy: What are you pretending not to know?
Mari: What do you mean?
Kathy: We almost always pretend not to know the truth about a difficult or troubling situation. We hide it from ourselves because it’s scary to face. We think it’s for our own safety and protection, but it hurts us in the end. So, what are you pretending not to know?
Mari: Damn. Well, I guess I’m pretending not to know I’m afraid of believing in myself to be able to figure it out. I’m afraid of failure. I’m afraid of people judging me—especially my family and friends. I’m pretending not to know that this fear is the only thing preventing me from moving forward. I’m scared to really put myself all the way out there.
Kathy: Good! Okay, so here's another question to let marinate. What is the benefit of keeping things the way they are right now? (There’s always a benefit we've convinced ourselves of, otherwise, we wouldn’t be doing it.)
Mari: I don’t have to keep brushing up against my comfort zone. I don’t have to face my fears. I don’t have to “look foolish” and possibly fail at something.
Kathy: That’s true, but at what cost?
Mari: Sh*t, well, I will never have the business and life I truly want. I’ll have to go back to a nine-to-five. And worse, there are thousands of people out there who need my help and aren’t getting it. Because I tell myself "I'm not that type of person."
Kathy: Alright, so now you know your options. Which would you rather practice creating?
Mari: I’d rather not worry about what other people think and have be successful. I want to help people and be compensated enough so I don’t have to go back to a day job. That’s what I really want!
Kathy: How could you make that happen? What actions can you take to move forward?
Mari: I need to ask for help. I need to always be refining my communication skills. And I need to get my message out to the world—even if it means people will hate.
Would it be too much to imagine that the month after this conversation, Mari grew her business 20%...It doubled what the business earned the entire previous year before.
Here’s the Aha point: Every decision we make in life comes from either purpose or fear. When you choose PURPOSE, “stuck” is nothing more than a pause.
Read on for three tools to use to push through with purpose. Go ahead, use 'em. I'd like to hear about how things begin to evolve for you.
1. Understand you ALWAYS have a choice
Feel your fears and discomfort and CHOOSE to act anyway.
Remember when you were 10 and all you wanted was to jump off the highest diving board at the pool? When you finally got up there, though, you were like.... OH HELL NAW, THIS DIDN'T LOOK THAT HIGH FROM DOWN THERE!!!"
Did you jump because now there was a line forming or did you climb back down and ask your parents to take you to therapy so you could overcome your fears and jump off? NO, you probably didn't. You faced your fear and just JUMPED. Once you had proven you wouldn’t die, you ran right back up the ladder and did it again with no hesitation.
You always have a choice.
2. Realize that you are the creator of your fears
Fear isn't some abstract emotion. When you hear it or think it, think of this clever acronym: False Experiences Appearing Real (FEAR).
When you begin to unpack your own FEAR, you’ll understand that it's chatter in your mind.
Consider this: You’re born with a few evolutionary fears, like the fear of loud noises and the fear of heights. That’s it. Everything else placed and created in your mind.
You tell yourself by asking that cute girl or guy on a date they will say “no” and you’ll look stupid, so you reject yourself before ever gave yourself a chance.
You tell yourself if you put your business out there, by making more videos, but people will judge you—even stop liking you for trying to sell them stuff. So what do you do? You hold back and play in the little leagues as your dreams slowly evaporate.
You tell yourself you don’t have enough tools to make it top the next level, so you don’t even bother to share them.
You create the stories that prevent you from acting. Un-create them, and don’t give FEAR that power.
3. Learn to NAME the nameless, and it will lose its power over you
This is exactly what happened with Mari. Ask yourself the same questions when you're feeling stuck, and name what’s really plaguing you. No he who shall not be named around here. We can say Voldemort up here in Sweat Nation.
It's important, to practice holding yourself accountable for the actions you define for yourself to take. Without accountability, fear will try to work it's way back in.
When you look back on your life, what do you want to remember the most? The times you played it safe? Or the times you faced fear head-on ready to dance and pushed through with purpose?
Your choices will speak for themselves. Here's to your pause towards growth!
Track Of The Day - The One - Method Man/Triggerfinger(Wantigga Remix)